You smell like a Billy Joel song
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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