And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
