The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
