the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize