I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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