are you so shy because you have an std?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
