So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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