I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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