My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
