Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
