You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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