Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
