yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize