She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
