Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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