Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
