I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
