"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize