i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
