That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
