I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
