look no pants
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
