I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize