i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
