question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
