just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize