a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
