oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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