Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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