what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
