i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize