Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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