i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
porn star boner night. come get it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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