Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
