my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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