there's paper in my vomit.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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