We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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