i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
