No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
