You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize