I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you would pick up someone in the library
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
