Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
