I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize