How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
