she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
