Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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