I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
