Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
God, I missed his penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
