i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
