That's intense
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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