Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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