i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
