I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
