just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
