my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
