all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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