I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
