16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
jump out the window naked night went bad
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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