why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize