Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
