he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
