I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize