Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

(310): View more from California

So you didn't like Bolt?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

A Penis?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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(360): View more from Washington

Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.

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(801): View more from Utah

I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Good morning to you

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?

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(512): View more from Texas

YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES

(512): View more from Texas

Sorry i meant to send that to my mom

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