we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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