How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
